The Talk
by picascribit
Summary: SCORBUS ARC SERIES #6, 2022: After coming out to his parents about his relationship with Scorpius, Albus is not prepared for an all-new gay version of the "birds and the bees" conversation with his father, or the secret Harry shares with him. Post-HPCC, canon compliant. Edited August 2017. Podfic available at AO3.


Albus Potter woke to the sound of his roommates moving around the dormitory beyond his bed curtains. He stretched, rolled over, and smiled at the boy beside him, just now blinking into wakefulness.

"Morning," Scorpius Malfoy whispered, voice still low and husky from sleep.

Albus gathered his boyfriend to him for a good morning kiss that went on for some time. Scorpius's skin, warm - and in some places, sticky - felt good against his own.

"This is a nice way to wake up," murmured Scorpius.

"Mmm, definitely," grinned Albus, nuzzling Scorpius's neck. "We should do this more often."

In the two weeks since OWLs, they had sneaked into each other's beds several times after their roommates had fallen asleep, but they had always returned to their own beds before sleeping themselves. Neither of them had wanted to invite the mockery or disdainful comments of the three other boys with whom they shared a dormitory.

But today, any such commentary would be short-lived. After breakfast, all of them would board the Hogwarts Express to return home for the summer. Neither Albus nor Scorpius had wanted to let go of the other a moment sooner than they had to.

"I already miss you," Albus had confessed the night before, holding Scorpius tightly.

"Hush," said Scorpius, kissing him. "We still have tonight, and most of tomorrow. Let's not waste it being sad."

The night had not been wasted. Under the cover of a Silencing charm, the two of them had said a very thorough farewell to one another, only falling asleep, exhausted and sticky, as dawn began to break.

Albus did not mind losing sleep; there would be plenty of time to make it up when he got home. Warmed by the pleasant memories they had made together, he kissed Scorpius again, running a fingertip down the groove of his spine, making him shiver deliciously against him. His hand came to rest on the curve of Scorpius's arse, giving it a tender squeeze as he shifted their hips closer together, inviting.

"We can't," Scorpius whispered. "Not with them out there."

"I know," sighed Albus. "Doesn't mean I don't want to. We could skip breakfast. Have the room all to ourselves for an hour. Maybe take a shower together?" he added hopefully.

"Mmm, that sounds nice," murmured Scorpius. "But then we'd have to get food on the train, and I never want to have anything to do with the trolley witch again."

"Yeah, me neither. What if we just did it right now _really_ quietly?" Albus suggested, rocking his hips enticingly.

Scorpius gave a breath of a laugh. "I'll believe that when I hear it. You're about as quiet as a hippogriff in heat when you get going. You'd wake old Dumbledore from his tomb, and have him up here investigating the racket, if we didn't use a Silencing charm."

"You're one to talk," huffed Albus.

Scorpius's lips brushed the curve of Albus's ear. "I like the sounds you make. Lets me know when I'm doing something right."

It was Albus's turn to shiver. "I like hearing you, too." Sometimes the sounds Scorpius made on the verge of climax were enough to send Albus over the edge with him.

"Might be fun, seeing you try to keep quiet while I ..." Scorpius ran the tip of his tongue around the shell of Albus's ear.

Albus gave an involuntary gasp.

All sound outside the bed curtains ceased.

"Slytherin's prick!" said Karl Jenkins' horrified voice. "Are they _both_ in there? You two had better not be shagging!"

"Piss off, Jenkins," Albus called back.

He gave Scorpius's arse a final squeeze, pressed a last kiss to his lips, and sat up, hunting for their discarded nightshirts. Albus watched with regret as Scorpius dressed himself, before pulling on his own. Bracing himself, he tugged open the bed's drapes.

"See?" he said. "All decent. Nothing to upset your delicate sensibilities."

"I'll have that galleon back," Zabini informed Jenkins. "I told you they wouldn't be able to keep out of each other's pants through the end of the year."

"Shut it, Zabini," said Albus testily. "It's none of your business what we do."

"It's our business if you're doing it in our room, when we're right here," snapped Jenkins. "We shouldn't have to deal with this. You two are disgusting."

Scorpius turned away, face red, gathering up a towel and clothes from his trunk before ducking into the bathroom. He hated confrontation.

Albus had no such compunctions. "You should be used to 'disgusting' by now, seeing that face in the mirror every morning," he shot back.

Jenkins turned red and opened his mouth, but Rhys Selwyn put up a hand, silencing him.

"Let's keep it civil, lads."

"Jenkins started it," grumbled Albus. "Having a go at me and Scorpius all the time, just because we're queer."

"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it," said Selwyn, giving Jenkins a hard look. "Did you?"

"They can be as queer as they like," Jenkins said grumpily. "As long as I don't have to know anything about it."

"Yes because there's _so much_ privacy to be had at this school," snapped Albus. "But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Jenkins? Seeing as you can't get a girl to touch you."

Zabini gave a hoot of laughter. "Jenkins with a girlfriend! That'll be the day. Five galleons says he's still a virgin when we sit our NEWTs. What d'you say, Potter?"

Albus grinned. "I say I'd be a fool to take a bet I can't possibly win."

"You are all a bunch of tossers," spat Jenkins, and turned his back on them to continue packing his trunk in grumpy silence.

"Anyone else have an opinion they'd like to share about me and Scorpius?" Albus challenged, looking back and forth between Zabini and Selwyn.

Zabini shook his head. "Not me, mate. I just won money off you two. Anyway, you're right. Trying to find any privacy at this school is a pain in the arse. I'd be lying if I said I'd never thought about smuggling Olivia in here after lights out."

"I really don't want to know about any of this," said Selwyn, looking pained. "There are rules about students having ... relations, you know."

"Are you going to dock us House points?" asked Albus, eyebrows raised. "Or give us detention? The House Cup has already been awarded for the year, and we're going home in a couple of hours. Give your prefecting a rest."

Selwyn shook his head. "Jenkins is right; it's not easy to live with people who are always snogging and ... doing other things."

"Thank you," Jenkins said sharply.

"Shut it, Jenkins," Selwyn ordered without much heat.

Scorpius exited the bathroom, hair wet from the shower, and glanced warily between his roommates and his boyfriend. "Everything all right?"

Selwyn sighed. "Don't worry about it, Malfoy. Just give me the summer to think things over, and we'll talk in September. We all have to live with each other for two more years, but I'm sure we can come up with an arrangement that's fair, and works for everyone. All right?"

Albus and Scorpius exchanged a look, and nodded. "All right."

* * *

They shared a train compartment with their fellow members of the Hogwarts LGBT club. Connor O'Mannan and Kavi Singh leaned against the train's window, holding hands as they watched the countryside go by, exchanging occasional tender kisses. Keshet Goldstein lay with her head in Morgana Rosier's lap, checking her phone, now that they were away from Hogwarts' technology-disrupting influence, every now and then reading something out to make her girlfriend giggle.

Albus and Scorpius spent most of the trip wrapped up in one another, oblivious to everything outside themselves.

"It's going to be so hard not to kiss you goodbye at the station," sighed Albus.

"I know. I'm sorry," said Scorpius. "I promise I'll tell Dad soon. I just don't want to come out to him by snogging my boyfriend in front of him on Platform 9 3/4. I'll make it up to you later, though. Promise."

Albus gave him a concerned look. "You think he'll be OK about everything?"

Scorpius shrugged. "Probably. Eventually. I don't think he'll try to stop us seeing each other, anyway."

"You know if things get weird, you can always come visit," Albus reminded him. "And even if things don't get weird, I hope you will."

Scorpius squeezed him tightly. "Of course I will! You think I could stay away from you until September? I'd die!"

Albus chuckled. "Well, don't do that. I'd miss you. I'd hate to have to go back to wanking all by myself. It just wouldn't be the same."

"No, we definitely can't have that," laughed Scorpius, kissing him.

* * *

Letting go of Scorpius's hand as they exited the train at King's Cross Station, knowing that it might be weeks before he touched him again, was one of the hardest things Albus had ever done. Scorpius looked miserable, too.

Albus found his family almost at once, submitting himself to be hugged by his mother, and given an awkward smile and a pat on the shoulder by his father. Scorpius, trailing behind him, was greeted warmly enough, for which Albus felt some relief. His family had known since February that he and Scorpius were together now. His brother and sister had spotted them holding hands in Hogsmeade, on their first official date, but apart from a brief mention in a subsequent owl from his mother, there had been no discussion of the subject. Either his parents had decided to quietly accept the new development, or they had decided to ignore it. Either way, they were unlikely to say anything in front of Scorpius's father. Albus hoped that his siblings would be as circumspect.

His brother James was in the middle of describing his Care of Magical Creatures NEWT, when Scorpius's father, Draco Malfoy, found them. He was taller than his son, with the same pale, pointed face, although his almost always wore a glum, faraway expression, as if he were thinking about something else. His blond hair, which he wore long, was beginning to turn an ashy colour. He nodded in greeting to Albus's parents, who returned the acknowledgement.

"Scorpius."

"Dad."

Albus watched in fascination as the open, affectionate boy he knew suddenly became someone else. His shoulders hunched, hands clenching in on themselves, and his face took on a closed expression. Albus wondered whether Scorpius was even consciously aware of the change. He wanted very much to touch his boyfriend, to reassure him that everything would be fine. But the time for that had passed.

"Are you ready to go?" Scorpius's father asked.

Scorpius nodded, then turned to Albus, flinging his arms around him and hugging him fiercely. Albus caught him and held onto him as tightly as he could, for as long as seemed acceptable.

"Love you," Scorpius breathed into his ear.

"Love you, too," whispered Albus, throat tightening. He let go and stepped away, raising his voice. "Write to me."

"As soon as I get home," Scorpius promised, looking even paler than usual.

Albus's eyes followed Scorpius and his father to the brick archway that marked the exit to Platform 9 3/4. At the last moment, Scorpius turned and waved, looking lost. Albus waved back, swallowing the lump in his throat. He watched until Scorpius vanished.

* * *

Albus was quiet on the way home. Apart from a few questions from his mother regarding his feelings about his OWLs, and a happy declaration from his sister Lily that Albus had agreed to take her and her friends to see the Manic Pixie Dream Goblins play later in the summer, his family left him alone. Most of their attention was focused on James, who had just sat his NEWTs, and finished at Hogwarts. He was looking forward to a summer internship with their Uncle Charlie, working with dragons in Romania.

Scorpius's absence ached like a bruise on Albus's heart. Since their first kiss four months before, they had barely spent a single waking hour apart. Without Scorpius, Albus did not know what to do with his hands. There was nowhere that his eyes automatically rested. No one he could turn to and say whatever was on his mind.

What was on Albus's mind at the moment was the conversation with his parents that he knew must be coming. He could sense it in his father's stiffness and his mother's covert glances. His relationship with his father was better now, but not so good that Albus was eager to discuss personal, private things with him.

At home after supper, Albus shut the door to his bedroom with relief, and began unpacking his trunk. He had kept his silence through the meal, but caught his parents watching him and exchanging meaningful looks more than once. Albus knew he could not put off the conversation forever, but perhaps his parents would at least give him until tomorrow, when he was more settled and had had some sleep.

There was a knock at his bedroom door. Albus tensed. "What?"

"Can I come in?" asked his father's voice.

Albus briefly considered saying "no", but he knew that would not make things any easier. "Yeah, sure."

The door opened, and Harry came in. He stood awkwardly for a moment before sitting down on the bed, watching in silence as Albus continued moving about the room, putting things away with rather more care than he normally would have done, if he were not trying desperately to postpone the inevitable.

"Albus -"

Albus's grip tightened on the small wooden box he held. It contained every note and letter Scorpius had ever sent him.

"What?"

"Come sit down. We need to talk about some things."

A knot of dread formed in Albus's belly. The last time he had seen that serious expression on his father's face had been last year, in the alternate reality where Harry had tried to forbid Albus from continuing his friendship with Scorpius.

"No," said Albus, panicked, clutching the box of letters to his chest. "You can't make me split up with him. I won't do it. I love him!"

Harry looked taken aback. "I wasn't - that's not - Albus, I would never suggest such a thing. Not as long as you're happy."

"Oh. OK," said Albus, relieved and mildly embarrassed by his outburst.

"Sit down, Son. Please," said Harry, patting the space beside him on the bed.

Albus obeyed, settling the comforting weight of the box of letters on his knees. He waited with some trepidation.

His father looked as if he was trying to decide where to begin. At last, he cleared his throat. "You remember the conversation your mother and I had with you when you turned thirteen? About taking proper precautions, and treating girls with respect?"

Albus nodded, cheeks flushed. He remembered his parents' candid discussion about sex vividly. His mother had taken the lead that time, and had been appallingly frank, with his father mostly nodding along, interjecting a comment here and there.

"Well, since it's boys -" continued his father, "- or maybe boys _and_ girls? - I thought perhaps we had better revisit the subject."

"I don't see why," grumbled Albus. "Unless I've completely misunderstood how it works, neither Scorpius nor me is going to wind up pregnant, and we're not going to catch anything, since we've only ever done it with each other."

He shut his mouth with a horrified snap, cheeks flaming, as he realised how much he had just inadvertently admitted to his father.

Harry's cheeks flushed, too. "I see. So you've already -? OK. I guess this conversation is coming a bit late. That's my fault. But it's fine, as long as you're OK."

"I'm fine, Dad. We've only -"

Harry held up a hand, cutting him off. "The details are none of my business. I just want to make sure that when you do ... things, that you're taking proper care of yourself. And Scorpius."

Albus rolled his eyes. "You fought one of the worst Dark wizards of all time, and you're afraid to say 'sex'?"

Harry ran a hand through his cloud of wayward black hair, and rubbed unconsciously at the lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead. "It's not fear, Albus. It's - I don't expect you to understand what it's like. You won't, unless you have children of your own someday. It can be hard for a parent to accept that their child isn't really a child any longer. You watch them grow up, see them going out into the world and starting to build lives of their own, but when you look at them, you can still see the child that they were. No matter how much you want to protect them, you can't anymore. All you can do is try to arm them with the tools and the knowledge they need to make good choices for themselves." His father met his eyes squarely. "I love you, Albus. More than my own life. And I am so proud of the man I see you becoming. I just want you to be safe and happy."

"I love you, too, Dad," Albus mumbled, looking away, embarrassed by the frank sharing of emotion.

His father grinned and put an arm around his shoulders in a brief half-hug. "That's good to know. So then - let's talk about gay sex."

"What d'you even know about it?" said Albus, taken aback.

A strange, half embarrassed, half amused expression came over his father's face. "More than you might think, Son."

"Slytherin's arse, Dad!" Albus gaped at him. "You're - ? You've - ? _Who_? And _when_? Does Mum know? I thought you and she got together straight out of Hogwarts!"

"'Who' is none of your business, young man," his father informed him mock-sternly. "'When' was before you were born. Yes, your mother knows, and no, she doesn't mind. And that's all you need to know about it."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" demanded Albus.

Harry sighed. "When I was your age - and even now - so much of my life is in the public eye, with people commenting and speculating about everything I do. I try to keep things private when I can. I don't want this family being made the subject of any more lurid gossip than I can help. But you're right. I should have said something. If it could have made things easier for you - for us ... You deserved to know that you weren't alone. I'm sorry, Albus."

Albus bit his lip, not wanting to forgive his father too quickly for such a large omission. "I would've told you and Mum last year, if I'd known."

Harry gave him a rueful look. "Well, we don't have a time-turner anymore, and even if we did, I think we've learned our lesson there. All we can do is move forward from here. So. Now you know. Maybe don't spread it around at school, all right?"

"I won't," Albus promised. "But you can't ask me not to tell Scorpius."

"I can live with that," Harry agreed, with a wry half-smile. "Although I'd rather he didn't say anything to his father. So - is it just boys, or do you like girls, too?"

Albus shrugged. "Just boys, so far." He did not feel like explaining the existence of nonbinary people to his father, just at present.

Harry nodded. "Do you feel safe at school? In your dormitory? Is anyone giving you a hard time about it?"

"It's OK. Jenkins is kind of an ass about it, but he's always been kind of an ass. Selwyn and Zabini are all right. Selwyn tries to keep Jenkins in line."

"That's good," said Harry. "Do you have an adult you can talk to, if you need to? Your Head of House, or -?"

"There's Professor Longbottom," volunteered Albus. "He's the advisor for Protego Club - that's the Hogwarts LGBT club."

Harry blinked in surprise. "Neville, eh? Yeah, you should go to him, if you need anything. And there's a club? That's great! We didn't really talk about things like that when I was at school. I didn't even know anyone who was out back then. You're very lucky, Albus."

Albus ran a thumb over the curlicue design on the lid of the wooden box in his lap, and thought about Scorpius. About what it would be like, not being able to hold hands with him whenever he wanted. About being afraid to kiss him for, fear that someone might see. It was a cold, uncomfortable feeling. "Yeah, I know."

"So, anyway - " Harry cleared his throat and glanced at his palm, where Albus could see a few words written in smudged ink. "You're right that, for most things, the same rules apply to being with a boy as with a girl. We talked about consent last time, and how it goes both ways. That still applies. You don't ever have to do anything you're not comfortable with, just to please someone else, and you should never, ever try to make someone do anything they don't seem comfortable doing. You understand?"

Albus nodded.

"It's OK not to want to do something, or not to want to do it all the time," his father continued. "You can always say 'no' or 'stop'. Someone who cares about you will respect that, and not give you a hard time about it. Anyone who doesn't respect your 'no' doesn't deserve your 'yes'. You should also check in with your partner from time to time, even if he isn't saying "no", and especially if he seems at all uncomfortable. It's important that you two take good care of each other." He fixed Albus with a stern look. "It's especially important since you're both new at this, and still figuring things out. Promise me you'll look after each other?"

Albus blushed. "I promise, Dad."

"Good. Now - " Harry consulted his palm again, " - hygiene. I believe we talked about that before, too. Keeping yourself clean is a courtesy to your partner, and will help keep you both healthy. You should wash before and after sex. Cleaning spells will do in a pinch, but soap and water are best. And there's plenty of fun to be had in the shower." He grinned and winked.

" _Dad!_ " cried Albus, scandalised, as if he had not suggested the same thing to Scorpius that very morning.

His father laughed. "Oh, believe me, Son, it's going to get a whole lot worse in a minute. Did we talk about lube last time? If we didn't, we should have."

Albus frowned. "What's lube?"

"Lubricant," Harry explained. "It's a potion for making things ... slippery."

"Oh, you mean - er - wanking potion?" Albus felt his cheeks grow hot again.

"So you _do_ know about it," said Harry, pleased. "Good. That's certainly one use for it. It's also good to use with a partner. It makes some things feel nicer, or work more smoothly. It also prevents chafing. You know how to brew it?"

Albus rolled his eyes. "Doesn't everyone?"

His father shrugged. "You'd be surprised. No one even told me about it until after I left school."

This time, when his father glanced down at his palm, Albus craned his neck to see what was written there, but he could not make out the smudged writing.

"Now, Son," Harry continued, as if choosing his words with extra care, "as you may already know, there are lots of different ways for people to have sex. None of them is better or more important than the others. It's all down to personal preference. You might like some ways, but not care for others. And that's fine. You're not required to do any of them, even once." He paused, clearing his throat. "That being said, I think it's important that we talk about - penetration. You understand what I mean by that?"

If there was any justice or mercy in the universe, Albus thought, the floor would have opened up and swallowed him right then and there. He wondered whether it was possible to die of embarrassment.

"You mean - like - doing it up the arse?" he mumbled.

Harry nodded. "I'm not going to ask what you and Scorpius have or haven't done, but if you ever decide to try it, you should know how to do it safely, so you don't hurt each other."

Albus lowered his head and covered his face with his hands. "Just - get it over with."

His father laughed. "That's the entirely wrong attitude to take, if you want to do it right. The first and most important thing to know is that it's not supposed to hurt."

Albus peeked at his father from between his fingers. "Really?"

Most of the reason he and Scorpius had not attempted that particular act yet was out of fear that it would be both messy and painful, not to mention embarrassing.

"If it hurts," Harry explained, "it means you're not ready, or you're too tense. You have to go slow. Relax. Get comfortable. If you do it right, it should be enjoyable for both partners."

Albus suddenly remembered that his father was almost certainly speaking from personal experience. He hid his face again with a groan.

"This is important, Albus," Harry frowned. "I hope you're paying attention. No one ever gave me The Talk. All I ever got from the Dursleys were dire warnings about what would happen if I ever got a girl pregnant. I had to learn a lot of things the hard way. I'm trying to save you some pain, discomfort, and embarrassment, if you'll let me."

"I'm listening," Albus said into his hands. "Just - no one wants to hear their parents talk about this stuff."

"I know, Son. I promise it will be over soon. I'm not doing this for fun, or to embarrass you. It's part of my job as your dad to make sure you know this stuff. I trust that, if you think you're mature enough to do it, you're also mature enough to listen to some advice from your dad about it."

Albus took a deep breath and lowered his hands, steeling himself. "All right. Tell me."

"OK." Harry nodded in approval. "So, the things we talked about before - consent, hygiene, lube - are all especially important when it comes to penetration. You have to check in with your partner frequently, at every step of the way, to make sure everything's going all right for him. You have to use lube. A lot of lube. In fact, there is no such thing as 'too much lube'. And there's a useful charm to ... tidy things up. Inside. Before you get started. Otherwise, things can get messy and unpleasant."

Albus almost put his hands over his face again, but resisted the urge. "What is it?" he asked in a strained voice.

" _Desterco_." His father hesitated. "To perform the charm, you'll need to ... insert the tip of your wand. You should wash it, before and after, in soap and water. I recommend that whoever is going to be ... receiving, should do it himself, using his own wand. You shouldn't make a habit of letting other people stick their wands inside you. That requires a level of trust I'm not altogether comfortable with."

Trying very hard not to imagine the scenario his father was describing, or how it might go wrong, Albus obediently filed away the charm, silently repeating _Desterco_ to himself.

"Now, once you've done that, and you've got your lube, and you're in a comfortable position, you're ready to get started," Harry continued. "Always start small, with fingers, to help the receiving partner relax and open up. In fact, it's probably best to stick to just fingers the first few times, until you're comfortable with it. Don't try to go any further until you both feel ready. Take it _slow_."

As he spoke, Harry began, unconsciously, making gestures that were a little too evocative for Albus's comfort, educational though they might be. He tried not to look directly at his father's hands.

"Don't be afraid to explore," Harry went on. "There's a little bump a couple of inches inside, at the front. That's called the prostate. Having it massaged can feel very good, but it's easy to miss, if you don't know it's there."

His father glanced at his hands, mid-gesture, suddenly realising what he was doing, and dropped them into his lap, looking mildly embarrassed.

"Anyway, if you _do_ decide to try it, don't worry if everything doesn't work out perfectly the first time, or the second, or the third. Just try to enjoy the exploration. And again, it's always OK to stop if you feel uncomfortable, or if you're just not enjoying it. All right?"

Albus nodded.

"What was the Cleansing charm I told you, again?" Harry raised his eyebrows.

" _Desterco_ ," Albus muttered obediently.

"Good lad," said Harry, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm sure you'll be fine. I don't know what kind of talk Scorpius's father has given him, so I'm counting on you to pass this information on to him. Will you do that, for me?"

"Yes, Dad."

"You really love each other?" Harry asked, expression softening.

Albus ducked his head, unable to hide an embarrassed smile. "Yeah."

Harry returned the smile with a nod of approval. "That's good. I'm glad. Promise me again that you'll try your best to take good care of one another."

"I promise, Dad."

"That's all I can ask. Thank you, Albus. You know you can always come to me or your mother with any questions or concerns you might have."

"I know. Thanks, Dad."

The door had barely clicked shut behind his father when Albus dove into his half-empty trunk, digging out quill, ink, and parchment.

 _Dear Scorpius,_ he wrote hurriedly, _You are not going to believe what just happened ..._


End file.
